Electrobel

just one word : no

The whole thing sounds so static, like a couple of reason dr-rex loops glued together.

Basically the song doesn't work, this is of course only my opinion.
Anyway, don't get discouraged, keep on trying. Listen to songs in the Jungle or dnb sections here and try to hear how could you do better.

Good luck

sympa sympa,mais un peu statique,comme si la vie était saccadée,tu comprends?maic c'est cool

agree with Zark