Electrobel

1/ The screams are too loud
2/ Kick is too saturated
3/ The notes at 1:30 are atonal (off-key)
4/ song is a bit long with the elements you have, could use some vocals or something on top.

Hope that helps.
Good start though

Yours tracks are very nice , this one and deception sentimentale. But on this one, there is a piano at the middle of song wich is not very nice ;) but the piano at the end is good !
Bravo !

Very good sond, little sad but I like that ;)

Like your last one