Electrobel

hawdy zARK, nice to see ur walkin' the lounge-path too ;-) I think this isa nice beginner, but it does need some work (in my opinion offcourse). I'll tell you what i would change, then you can still see what my opinion is worth :)
It try to put the rythm more in the foreground. The rhodes is much to overwhelming - what we do want is the rhodes to be the main theme of the track. so u will have to find the right balance there. What i wouldn't do is bring to much variation into the rythm (with rims) (KISS - keep it simple stupit)(not that ur stupid - that is just the accronym ;-))
the first piano melody that comes poppin is nice - try to build on that - the second piano line is not really it in my eyes. What i would do is put more strings into it. (perhaps lose the choirs? or make them not this overruling from time to time (but that is because i don't like the sound of this choir ;-))
Then you could use a female voice - just speaking of whispering- preferably in french; but since you speak frech- you can ask someone right ;-) otherwise just take it out of some unknowk movie or tvshow :-)
What i would also try - don't know if it is goiing to sound good- is try a real, accoustic sounding piano smp, try to bring some life into the track. I think this is a real slow, and a bit of a depressed track- the piano could lighten this up (if that is what u want offcourse ;-))
This brings us tho additional sounds - i think you could try some 'st germain' fx on this one. U probabely have tourist; listen to it, and you'll hear what i mean ;-)
The you could, but once again not a must - use a bassline- But here don't use a too complex one; in my opinion the easiest sounding basslines othen are the best. So keep it easy and slow AND use accoustic SMP not synth emulated sounds ;-)

oiyyy, i'm really letting mlyself go here, arn't i ;-). Well anyway - nice to see that i'm not the only one here experimenting on the downbeat section :). Hope i didn't give too much comment (well it is not reallt comment, its more this that I would do/try)

Hope to hear the remake soon ;-)

Pees en respect ;-)

PS; ignore typo's and other errors - i'm not goiing to read this again :)

okay - so there was a bassline ;-) (my bad)

i'm a sucker 4 sad songz... so i like this, but i think u should change the shaky piano into a real piano, it would underscore the melancholy more...

Liked it but would indeed change the trembling piano. Breaks the mood a bit I think!!

nicefull playing of melody softly en mentioned ala like Moby ! mayby some real voices added to the track and it s 100 % completed ! so an emotional feeling when a listen to this song