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luna - Broken dreams in Neverland




Rabauw [be] - 11 years ago

Well, let me be the first one to comment here and welcome you at Ebel! ;)

This is, in general, great, for a first upload. Really a wonderful piece of music, very smooth, almost emotional.

As for the sound quality: it's dense, but I think it's a bit too dense. I mean, I'm listening through headphones, and as wonderful as the composition may be, production-wise it comes off with a harsh edge, it sounds rather muffled. So, I think you can clean this up, production-wise. Playing it loud does not always mean it will sound better. You need to find the perfect sound balance, without a risk of audio clipping. So, I'd suggest to lower some volumes here and there.

Second, the strings sound a bit too fake in my opinion. Probably also because of the loudness, but some different reverb settings might also help.

And third, I wouldn't have the strings stop so suddenly for the bells.

But, in all, this is a splendid opener. Seems like we can expect some nice compositions from you, so keep it up!

lorsen [be] - 11 years ago

realy nice theme!! I like to ear more!!!

yenneman [be] - 11 years ago

It's really difficult to make this kind of music using software...Rabauw spoke wise words again: composition-wise it's really great, although it should 'die' more, do not give up the strings immediately...and production-wise, well, I'm not gonna repeat Rabauw's words ;) , it's a bit loud.

And you officially gained my jealousy :)

edith [be] - 11 years ago

dito ! ;)


HarryPoppins [be] - 11 years ago

Very soundtracky :))
yep them strings...
But really nice! (made it with edirol orchestra?) I love the ending!

Erophin [be] - 11 years ago

Woow It reminds me of 1492 conquest of paradise (vangelis) i really like this kind of emotion (not olmost but totally) do i hear choer chant on the background ? congrats 4 this one, welldone

luna [be] - 11 years ago

thanks everybody, it's a good welcome you did to me :shame: :shame:
do i have the possibility to have a sencond first time here :D?
yes there're choirs in the background.
and for the loud ambiance, i know it but, apparently, a friend said me that it's a problem with the frequences of the low sound, or something like that i did'nt understand...
and the end, it's the little fae tinker bell who arrives :)

ps: i use reason
..and i speak too much, sorry for my blablabla

DrGonzo [be] - 11 years ago

damn where all those chicks come from??? :)
i enjoyed it all the way...it was sad when it finished :(

FabioPersonale [be] - 11 years ago

Great track to join ebel Lot's of emotions on this one But as rabauw and other members said You need to polish your mastering But great for a newcomer and certainly in this kind of music style
want to hear more of this kind of music

Kinet [be] - 11 years ago

nice end !

TheThreatOfDawn [be] - 11 years ago

rough unpollished diamond, with a nasty cut near the end. in other words: I agree with the others here. I'm staying tuned to here more!

Rabauw [be] - 11 years ago

Listening to it again....

Well what your friend says seems to be true, Luna. Well at least partly I think. I think the low freqs indeed are causing a bit of damage, so maybe you could add up your treble settings and lower the bass on the small EQ square on your mixer channels.

Judging from your sound quality, I assume you're using Reason 3? (I still use old Reason) So, another possibility is that you've spoiled/overdone it a bit in the mastering suite, like Fabio mentioned. But mixing/mastering ain't easy, so I'm sure it will turn out alright in the future. If you don't overdo the bass on the mixer, I think it won't sound so muffled anymore after the mastering.

heatfuse [be] - 11 years ago

sorry to spoil all these rather positive comments (except for the mastering issues), but I think it's only fair you get an explanation why someone (me) gave you a 'thumbs down'. In my opinion this song is a tune and that's about it. It's cinematic, but imho there's a complete lack of originality. Moreover, there's no evolution, only a slow climax by adding string on different toneladders (or whatever the correct term is) and the bells at the end is cliché. to be honnest with you, it is exactely the same music/style I made when I first started out. So I just wanna give you some advice: don't get the idea that this is a brilliant piece of work because of all the positive feedback... your good stuff has yet to come! but you need to keep on practising and playing around!

Rabauw [be] - 11 years ago

Don't be so strict Heatfuse, what you say is true, but then again, if this is the level of a beginner, then you gotta admit it is good. I remember what stuff I was making in the very beginning, and it didn't come even close to this level. You gotta keep that in mind. Like you said yourself, this is stuff you also wrote when you were a beginner: well, I bet you were satisfied with it too back then. :)

Of course many improvements can be made, but I hear lots of potential here, and we gotta encourage that, instead of mugging about "beginner level". My opinion though.

AMF [be] - 11 years ago

I liked it.

(AMF, the 3 word-reviewer strikes again)

heatfuse [be] - 11 years ago

héhé rabauw! 'course didnt mean to disencourage Luna, I'm glad Ebel embraces her as a new artist (we've all been there) whether she's a starter or not! but I also believe you can motivate people by criticizing in a constructive way (the positive points have already been pointed out by others). besides as an artist you have to learn how to handle critique. in the end I'm looking forward to hear how Luna will progress, so I hope she'll stick around for a long time. voila!

Rabauw [be] - 11 years ago

Those are the words of wisdom, Heatfuse :)
totally agree!

PsyAviah [be] - 11 years ago

Nice, you have good ideas, should keep on working!
Maybe add some other instruments ore extra percussion to vary the song a little more..
Neverhteless i like the melody, good job, and welcome on ebel :)

luna [be] - 11 years ago

thanks again for comments, this song will be update once again in a few time.

someone asked me what are my influences on the other song of mine.
ben harper, aphex twin, pink floyd, muse etc.

Despoilah [be] - 11 years ago

yay im comment n948941 Dude really nice work you made me feel like I was flying over a grassy plain with no fear and pain ... shit that rimed :p ANyways Welcome to e-bel and I love your song here man AWSOME AWSOME !!! Im almost crying ahahahah ! :(

Rabauw [be] - 11 years ago

3rd version?

I really like how the choir comes out now, mixing is a lot better. But, there's still some instrument that sounds off balance compared to the rest... can't really put the finger on which one, but I think it's the high freqs of the orchestral strings, which still cause a little bit of damage. If it's an NNXT, be careful with the volumes, it's always a nasty device.

melodikpinpon [be] - 11 years ago

bouhou bouhou...sortez les mouchoirs...
its dommage , the title was nice

reaman [be] - 11 years ago

for a beginner it's very good, but feel a little like Heatfuse....
All these positive comments are justified but nevertheless it's a track with no surprises at all. It happens to have the right intensity but personally i don't like the fact that the strings stop just like that and then start again... it's an ugly staccato...
I too like to have layer upon layer but the layers in this song don't differ enough to enrichen it.

Anyway, it's just taste and for starters this IS good quality. Keep on.

(nice pic in your profile)

Anonymous [be] - 11 years ago

It's wonderful !!! Congratulations !

luna [be] - 11 years ago

thanks for all these comments, esspecially the ones who said me what's really wrong, but the repetitive side of this track is from the fact that it's for theatre that i made it, a play on peter pan, so the title, i rework it, but I show you by my other traacks my other side :), I'll put the other sounds for the same ply here, but after the show himself :) to do not have hesitations

ps: thanks for the picture

aphone [be] - 11 years ago

nice one, verry soundtrack flavoured, perfect for a movie, nice evol on violins. at 2'36'' hum maybe a wrong note...
and a very good outro... good job! Greetz

kaoz [be] - 11 years ago

remindz me alot of JMJarre's rendez-vous, very nice warm stringz

SoLo [be] - 11 years ago

nice peace of work +fav

Doorchaser [be] - 11 years ago

I lik it as a tune, and a good tune is a good tune, don't sound so dense to me!!

luna [be] - 11 years ago

thnaks for the comments guys ^^

" at 2'36'' hum maybe a wrong note" WHATT?? i hear it now !

aphone [be] - 11 years ago

hahha, im relistenin, its not really a wrong note but its strange at this moment i think.... now, i know what s disturbin me : the high string ... I dont know why but its strange here, only this lill moment ... maybe less attack or les frequ could be nice ? or maybe im the only one to notice this ??? anyway , nice to listen to it again :))

hosmOz [be] - 11 years ago

FFS fuckers iam so happy when i have 3 comments and when more than 1 ppl commented one of my track...i should get a girls name ill be listened!

mhmm, anyway about your tracks it is a nice composition, a bit too repetetive like some ppl
said,but this is a good track...

luna [be] - 11 years ago

@aphone :ow pfiu okay